The War Began with Twitter

I would like to start off by saying that although there seems to be a burmuda triangle of intelligence in this school, there is a reason why witch rhymes with bitch.

Thank you to all of you crazy kids who have class with me in the library 5th hr. This is usually the result;

The beginning of a cute day

Its so fucking adorable I want to bounce around like a little girl and make silly three year old noises of joy

Super size this

Im seriously concerned for whoever made this possible. This hot chocolate is way too big. I almost cant hold it.

Adventures I took part in while I was neglecting my poor blog...

It's been a very long time since I posted. (?) So i'm going to post some updates all together here along with some pictures.

Adventure 1

This is my brother Danny. We went to the library one day and seeing as he is strange like me, he was attempting to grab a book from the 4th shelf by launching himself by his arms off the floor. This didnt really go as planned because his push up style launching method caused him to land on his face repeatedly or on his arm as you can see from this picture. Now, my brother is extremely determined when he wants to be and he refused to stop until he got the book. He got it.




Adventure 2

My only 1st cousin was born. I dont know how much he weighed or what time exactly he was born, but I know he sleeps ridiculously well and loves listening to Vladimir Horrowitz with me. (Vladimir is a pianist for those of you who didnt know). He was a little jondice but he's better now. His name is Nikolai.




Adventure 3

I forced Danny to join the Mr. Relay contest in relay for life this year. He looked adorable with his tiara and pink purse. I walked around with him for support with my Marine Corps warrior stripes face paint. Frankly, we are amazing and so was relay.




Adventure 4

My sister had her birthday. We went to go see a movie, and though I dont remember what it was, I know it was cool. I got heather fingerpaints, window crayons, and a charm bracelet for her birthday.





I'm trying to watch a movie and write this post at the same time, so if it doesn't make much sense im sorry. I also realize there are going to be a LOT of typos. Forgive my distraction.

Zombie Ants

Being me, I dont worry about things like natural disasters. I worry about the bizarre things like being eaten by a cat or being rolled into traffic by my own shopping cart.

One of the things I thought I was prepared for was the Zombie Apocalypse.


I was wrong.



Scientists have found a fungus that turns ants into zombies in order to grow. See, I was prepared. I could handle zombie dogs, zombie people, zombie cats, even zombie hamsters. What I wasn't prepared for was zombie ants. Those little buggers would have been my downfall.


Thankfully, I caught this flaw in my zombie-fighting plan in time. Otherwise, it would have been very very bad.




zombie ants








You're welcome.
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This is why every day should be a half day.

Me; Hey Spicer!!!!!!

Spicer; Hhheeeeyyyyy

Me; Tired much? ( Bouncing up and down in my seat while drinking coffee and earning strange looks from Spicer)

Spicer; A little. Had enough coffee?

Me; Why? This is only my second mug. ( looking defensive while holding coffee mug to my chest)

Spicer; (head tilted slightly with eye brow raised) I think you have a problem.

Me; What problem?

Spicer; You drink too much caffeine.

Me; Nnnooooo. It's only too much when I pass out from a caffeine overdose and a sugar high. ( defiantly takes another sip of coffee.)

Spicer; Happened before?

Me; ...  (looking more defensive while finishing off my coffee)

At this point, one of my more hyper teachers walks into the room. It's friday, so naturally there is something up his sleeve.

Mr. K; WOO HOO!!!!! Friday!!! Happy half day, squirrel appreciation, koolaid party day!!!!!!!!

Class; (confused looks and many whispers regarding the koolaid party comment)

Mr. K; I BROUGHT KOOLAID!!!!!!!

At this point, we started shuffling around the desks and making koolaid. Mr. K started up the karaoke machine and we made a giant circle with the desks. The koolaid was made, cups were passed around, and our party began.

Relay for life kickoff meeting

arrival time= 6pm

Separate lines (creative segregation?) for captain and co-captain check in.

Went in, mom was trying her best to figure things out. got signed in, went to the presentation room, sat in the right side of the left section in the very back row.

band playing. Appears to consist of 3 small boys and what I assume are two of their dads.

Mom got our supplies and became slightly more organized.

There were presents in our supply kit too. they were for captain and co-captain, so naturally, as co-captain, I got presents. hers was a waterbottle and mine was a clock.

behold the awesomeness.


Mom leaves to get cupcakes. (they are lined up in pretty little rows across like 6 tables.) Vanilla or chocolate? I have no idea. (and COFFEE??? these guys think of everything.)

Powerpoint with pictures is going on the presentation screen.
(mom returns)

HAHAHAAHA vanilla WITH SPRINKLES!

This is fun. I'm probably going to be a 24 hr walker. slight chance of requiring major medical attention by the end of the night. Dying definitely an option.

Man started speaking. lots of laughter and clapping. what did i miss?

"Kelly" then starts speaking... I missed the joke AGAIN?????? WTF is camp catcha rainbow????????... points out the fact that people who are even remotely capable of answering questions are in red relay shirts.

There appears to be a test on birthday slogans. These are our choices;

1. Celebrate more birthdays
2. Happy birthday survivors
3. You bring the cake, i'll bring the keg

...I definitely think it's the third option but mom says that not relay appropriate and therefore simply CAN NOT be a relay birthday slogan. Dammit.

We are apparently lighting the entire track with illuminaria bags.

"Kelly" makes all the new-to-michigan team captains stand up. haha. Mom has on both a birthday sticker AND an uneasy smile.

"Kelly" switches with a different lady who is supposed to be telling us the rules. I can't really take her rules seriously though, because shes wearing new years glasses, a tiara that says happy birthday and a pink tutu that fails to even MATCH her blue crown and her silver glasses. Did I mention she is wearing pigtails? She looks like she 58. Newsflash, dont wear pigtails past 35. My mother did it at 35 and could pull it off but I have no idea if she should have.

Did I mention this lady openly admits to knowignly sleeping in someone elses trailer during relay? Oh and this relay has apparently had dumpster fire problems EVERY YEAR. There are a lot of rules about food that are too specific for me to even begin listing here. Mom says we are doing coffee.

There seems to be a problem with the presentation screen showing us that we will be participating in the worldslargest twister game.

Man next to us with his baby apparently has upsidedown issues. Um hello? You don't hold a baby that way. I am torn between teaching you how to properly hold a baby right in the middle of this meeting or taking away your man card.

There is a guy I recognize about two rows up. Did I mention this was a very small town? I'm trying to place him.

Holy shit they actually got my schools birthday crew to sing happy birthday. What. The. Hell.

I remembered two row up guy's name. Its mr story. Hes a teacher nextdoor to my english class. He has a habit of walking into my class every day and looking at my teacher like he expects her to not be there. I wonder if he tells stories a lot.

Apparently there are reasons we keep doing relay every year;

1. firemen leading the first lap
2. brushing your teeth on the track at three in the morning
3. you never know when you might see elvis.

Thank you relay people. This has officially been one of the oddest meetings I have ever been to.




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My partially-motivational dares

Today is the start of the project. I will be trying to motivate myself to post more by daring myself to do things.

Dare #1= SHORT STORY SUNDAYS

  - each sunday I will post a short story I have written. It may or may not include pictures and will most likely be very stupid. (for those of you who are deeply offended by my use of the word stupid, this blog is obviously not for you.)


Dare #2= ask my school counselor 100 questions by the end of my high school career.

  - I will bunch them together in groups of five along with his responses. (this way all you counselor-wisdom-loving people can enjoy my counselor's strange answers.)


Dare #3= Picture day

  - every once in a while, I will document an entire day of my life IN PICTURES and then post it here with very very short descriptions of who the hell are in the pictures and why the hell they're there.




NOTE; I will be adding more dares as I think of them and they will be listed in another post.

LET'S GET THIS PARTY STARTED

"You Speak."

     Today I opened up the wonderful blog from The Bloggess, and read something that truely touched me. A woman recently lost her husband when he had a psycotic breakdown, leaving her alone with two kids.

This is a speech she made at her husbands funeral;

Tony took care of everyone. All the time. He was so busy taking care of everyone else, he didn’t speak out when something was wrong.
And this is what you can do for me, for Tony, when you leave here today. All you men, you big men. When you walk away from here, you speak. If something is wrong, if something hurts, then you talk about. Tony was so busy taking care of everyone else, he didn’t care take of himself. So after this, you speak.

Just as the bloggess has done, i am going to do my best to spread Lori's message;

                                                 



                                                            "You Speak."








to view lori's blog, you can go here;  http://www.rrsahm.com/

Fraggle rock and its immortality in telivision

There are some shows who never die.

EVER.

They start out with great ideas, sometimes become old, but if someone likes it...

well....

It will just live on.

FRAGGLE ROCK!!!

Gingerbread house day

It's going to be a great day! Mom baked gingerbread for houses, and Bee and I are going to make ours together. It's going to be the starngest, most delicious gingerbread house EVER!

This is the first time Bee and I have ever made a gingerbread house, not to mention the first time mom baked gingerbread in 20 years.

...Maybe this won't be quite what we planned...

........

No i'm sure it will be fine...

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5 random things in my fridge

Well, today my post idea generator told me to write about  five things in my fridge.

(This would be a lot easier if I could see inside the containers)

First random item I pulled out of my fridge; Hershey chocolate syrup. What can I say? I love chocolate milk.

Second we have...

oh dear...

...a half-used bottle of a1 sauce that expired a year ago...

What?!? Stop shaking your head so disapprovingly! When I stopped putting it on my steamed broccoli, I no longer had a use for it! Ok?

Third item; mustard.

A great yellow substance that can be used on burgers, hotdogs, sandwiches, cornedbeef, potatosalad....ok you get the picture. I use mustard A LOT.

moving on...

Fourth! We have a container full of homemade mac n cheese. Yum.

Lastly; a cucumber! Uses; (stop giggling. There are things other than cucumbers for that.) you can put them in salads, make cucumber sandwhiches, eat them plain, etc.

Well I think I need a new idea generator...

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Treats gone wrong? Maybe just strange...

   We all know how it goes. A week or two before christmas, you decide to make treats. They are cute, require patience, and sometimes go horribly wrong.

decapitated snowmen, anyone?

I don't know... that one on the left looks kinda evil...

Sometimes you get funny treats like this;

Do you ever get tired of those same old gingerbread men?

presenting; the ninjabread men!

The obvious answer to your lame gingerbread men problem.

This one is just in here because i like how one of the people has antennas. ;

You know, i'n not really sure what this one is...

 

or this one...

But hey! Whatever floats your creepy-snack-craving boat.

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Triple Christmas

     Michigan! Land of "oh shit it's cold outside." Where if you are brave enough to look out your window, you will instantly become snow-claustraphobic.
  
    One of my grandmas lives in Arizona. The hottest place I have ever lived in. The other lives in hawaii. As it is really hard to get together for christmas due to distance, my mother came up with a solution...


Triple Christmas.


   We have three christmasses this year. The first is with my Gran from Arizona two weeks before actual christmas. The second is with my gran from hawaii a week before christmas. The third is real christmas.


   This system results in both lots of presents, and lots of stress. I, having the biggest bed other than my parents, gets moved into the basement on the futon. So for two weeks I am kicked out of my own room and ignored except for exchanging presents.

Oh joy.







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It's legit. The conditional statement dance.

   Brought to you by both my geometry teacher and my entire first period.

You see, we aren't so good with memory, so my teacher came up with a dance to help us remember everything from a particular chapter in our book.

-conditional statement
-converse
-inverse
-contrapositive
-biconditional

   There is a motion for each statement, and it goes along with the macarena song.


...it goes like this...

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Why I don't do homework

   There are some days when you get homework in german class. It's not easy, it's not short, and you have to pay even more attention so you don't do the wrong assignment. This is the story of when I gave in to praise and actually did homework.

   It was a great day. I was on a roll. Nothing was going to bring me down. Nothing. I simply wouldn't let it. I had my shields up and glowing. Nothing bad was going to touch me. Not rabid squirrells, not angry old men, nothing.

   Then came German.

   A normaly fun and sometimes crazy class where the only bed thing is homework.

   In case you haven't grasped this yet, I don't do homework. Ever. People complain to me because of it, but I still pass all of my classes with a C or higher. Usually higher.
   My german teacher is off his rocker. So far off, in fact, he's on the floor twenty feet away from it. He can never stick to a plan, loves to make up songs with no reasoning behind them, and is constantly changing his mind about things.
   The only thing he never changes are the already written homework assignments on the board.

   I was in such a good mood, I did the homework as I was waiting for class to start. I was so amazed at myself. I had done homework! BEFORE I EVEN GOT HOME!!! my ego was huge.

and then it happened...












HE CHANGED THE ASSIGNMENT HE HAD WRITTEN!!!!!!!!




I got so mad, I sat in my chair glaring at him, refusing to work anymore for the entire class peiod.

   My great mood had been shattered. I would never do homework again. I would never let him mess with my greatness.

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Ghosts and how they affected my childhood

   I would like to star off by pointing out that YES there are ghosts, and NO they don't chase after you. You are lucky if they talk to you.

   Since I was little, I have been able to "speak" to "ghosts". At first, this greatly disturbed my mother. I would be talking to something she couldn't hear or see, and she would assume I had made an immaginary friend. Then she would ask me "who are you talking to sweetheart?" I would typically reply with "the dead man". As you can imagine, my mother had a total meltdown and sent me to shrinks as she was afraid for my mental health.

   This is the part where my amazing shrink (Dr. No-name) (he never told me his name) assures my mother that I am either going through a "stage" or just a freak.



That totally reassured her.


I am now accompanied by both my grandfathers and a little girl named Rue. So, if you read posts about them, don't worry, they aren't figments of my immagination and they wont hurt you. They just happen to be dead.









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The concept of "sharing"

   Isn't sharing supposed to be willingly letting someone use something instead of keeping it all to yourself? Because that is so no how it usually goes down.

1. The "Want" stage

you decide you must have something someone else has.

2. the pretending stage.

you know, the one where you pretend to ask nicely just so that if your parets come and ask, you can say you didn't skip right to yelling.

then they refuse to share. but you were expecting this.

you had it all planned from the beginning. you will have the object in question no matter what it takes. there is no other option. the toy is YOURS.

3. the yelling stage

the trouble is, now comes

4. the intervention stage.

that one where the parents have finally realized something is going on and they are coming to intervene and get to the bottom of things.

they join in and do some yelling of their own. All you can do at this point, is plead your case and hope they let you win.

4. the selfish stage

you do everything you can to make the other person look selfish, because maybe, just maybe, you can guilt them into taking the toy from the other person and giving it to you. you already have your "asked nicely" defense.

they lecture on how sharing is good for you and how it makes you a better person. you  shouldn't be aloud to have anything if you are fighting over it.

5. the no one gets it stage

"you might get this back if you can learn to share it." yeah right. we are never getting that toy back. At least, at this point, you have the satisfaction of knowing that even though you dont have the toy, THE OTHER PERSON DOESN'T EITHER!!

Adding pictures to my posts

   today I decided that my blog would be more entertaining if I added pictures to my posts.

Naturally I had a little bit of procrastination working against me. I simply could not even think any more about my posts until I had a snack.

So naturally, I spent a good ten minutes just deciding what kind of food I needed.

   I needed something that was simple, quick, and was actually good for me. A simple oreo just wasn't going to do it.

I had a bit of uncertainty. Could I really pass up something yummy like oreos?

   But in the end it seemed I WAS capable of making a "healthy" choice. Of course, a certain excitement ensued and I congratulated myself on a job well done. Back to posting.

I went to my computer, logged on and began posting about my own post. It was a great accomplishment when I hit the Post button and finished my first ever post with pictures.

list of things to do while suffering from insomnia

1. Read a book. If your world sucks enough, the book just might be better.

2. Watch tv. If you put on something so utterly boring that they actually put it on in the middle of the night, it might just be boring enough to put you back to sleep.

3. Cook something. As long as it is simple and not likely to be fucked up by a sleepdeprived zombie, it should be ok.

4. Text every single person in your contacts just to see if you get a reply. If you do, youre welcome. You just made a new insomniac friend.

5. Check the weather about 5 different times and then plan out your outfit for the day.

6. Google something completely random. There is never too much googling.

7. take out every single pair of clean socks you own, and if they are colored, replace them in the drawer in rainbow order.

8. Make sockpuppets. (You didnt think I was going to leave out the white socks did you?)

9. Design a comic strip. Chances are. It will be so weird that newspapers might actually print it just to share the oddness.

10. See how many times you can open and close the frige before your arm gets tired. Then the next time you are awake, try it again and see if you got stronger.


To answer your questions;

-yes i am an insomniac
-yes i have done all of the things on this list
-no i will not ever go for a walk in the pooring rain unless i have both a raincoat and an umbrella.
-yes i am writting this blog while sitting around not sleeping at three am.

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