Sunday, February 20, 2011

Relay for life kickoff meeting

arrival time= 6pm

Separate lines (creative segregation?) for captain and co-captain check in.

Went in, mom was trying her best to figure things out. got signed in, went to the presentation room, sat in the right side of the left section in the very back row.

band playing. Appears to consist of 3 small boys and what I assume are two of their dads.

Mom got our supplies and became slightly more organized.

There were presents in our supply kit too. they were for captain and co-captain, so naturally, as co-captain, I got presents. hers was a waterbottle and mine was a clock.

behold the awesomeness.

Mom leaves to get cupcakes. (they are lined up in pretty little rows across like 6 tables.) Vanilla or chocolate? I have no idea. (and COFFEE??? these guys think of everything.)

Powerpoint with pictures is going on the presentation screen.
(mom returns)


This is fun. I'm probably going to be a 24 hr walker. slight chance of requiring major medical attention by the end of the night. Dying definitely an option.

Man started speaking. lots of laughter and clapping. what did i miss?

"Kelly" then starts speaking... I missed the joke AGAIN?????? WTF is camp catcha rainbow????????... points out the fact that people who are even remotely capable of answering questions are in red relay shirts.

There appears to be a test on birthday slogans. These are our choices;

1. Celebrate more birthdays
2. Happy birthday survivors
3. You bring the cake, i'll bring the keg

...I definitely think it's the third option but mom says that not relay appropriate and therefore simply CAN NOT be a relay birthday slogan. Dammit.

We are apparently lighting the entire track with illuminaria bags.

"Kelly" makes all the new-to-michigan team captains stand up. haha. Mom has on both a birthday sticker AND an uneasy smile.

"Kelly" switches with a different lady who is supposed to be telling us the rules. I can't really take her rules seriously though, because shes wearing new years glasses, a tiara that says happy birthday and a pink tutu that fails to even MATCH her blue crown and her silver glasses. Did I mention she is wearing pigtails? She looks like she 58. Newsflash, dont wear pigtails past 35. My mother did it at 35 and could pull it off but I have no idea if she should have.

Did I mention this lady openly admits to knowignly sleeping in someone elses trailer during relay? Oh and this relay has apparently had dumpster fire problems EVERY YEAR. There are a lot of rules about food that are too specific for me to even begin listing here. Mom says we are doing coffee.

There seems to be a problem with the presentation screen showing us that we will be participating in the worldslargest twister game.

Man next to us with his baby apparently has upsidedown issues. Um hello? You don't hold a baby that way. I am torn between teaching you how to properly hold a baby right in the middle of this meeting or taking away your man card.

There is a guy I recognize about two rows up. Did I mention this was a very small town? I'm trying to place him.

Holy shit they actually got my schools birthday crew to sing happy birthday. What. The. Hell.

I remembered two row up guy's name. Its mr story. Hes a teacher nextdoor to my english class. He has a habit of walking into my class every day and looking at my teacher like he expects her to not be there. I wonder if he tells stories a lot.

Apparently there are reasons we keep doing relay every year;

1. firemen leading the first lap
2. brushing your teeth on the track at three in the morning
3. you never know when you might see elvis.

Thank you relay people. This has officially been one of the oddest meetings I have ever been to.


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