Thursday, November 25, 2010

Adding pictures to my posts

   today I decided that my blog would be more entertaining if I added pictures to my posts.

Naturally I had a little bit of procrastination working against me. I simply could not even think any more about my posts until I had a snack.

So naturally, I spent a good ten minutes just deciding what kind of food I needed.

   I needed something that was simple, quick, and was actually good for me. A simple oreo just wasn't going to do it.

I had a bit of uncertainty. Could I really pass up something yummy like oreos?

   But in the end it seemed I WAS capable of making a "healthy" choice. Of course, a certain excitement ensued and I congratulated myself on a job well done. Back to posting.

I went to my computer, logged on and began posting about my own post. It was a great accomplishment when I hit the Post button and finished my first ever post with pictures.

list of things to do while suffering from insomnia

1. Read a book. If your world sucks enough, the book just might be better.

2. Watch tv. If you put on something so utterly boring that they actually put it on in the middle of the night, it might just be boring enough to put you back to sleep.

3. Cook something. As long as it is simple and not likely to be fucked up by a sleepdeprived zombie, it should be ok.

4. Text every single person in your contacts just to see if you get a reply. If you do, youre welcome. You just made a new insomniac friend.

5. Check the weather about 5 different times and then plan out your outfit for the day.

6. Google something completely random. There is never too much googling.

7. take out every single pair of clean socks you own, and if they are colored, replace them in the drawer in rainbow order.

8. Make sockpuppets. (You didnt think I was going to leave out the white socks did you?)

9. Design a comic strip. Chances are. It will be so weird that newspapers might actually print it just to share the oddness.

10. See how many times you can open and close the frige before your arm gets tired. Then the next time you are awake, try it again and see if you got stronger.

To answer your questions;

-yes i am an insomniac
-yes i have done all of the things on this list
-no i will not ever go for a walk in the pooring rain unless i have both a raincoat and an umbrella.
-yes i am writting this blog while sitting around not sleeping at three am.
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Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Tropical candles are the best christmas presents for grandmas.

Tropical escape?

When confronted with the impossible question of what candle to light when friends are coming over, DON’T PUT OUT ONE CALLED TROPICAL ESCAPE!

   Im serious. It totally smells like old ladies.

This is how I know;

Mom; go over to the shelf and read me the names of the candles so I can decide which one I want to light.

Me; vanilla…birthday cake…Christmas…cranberry…tropical paradise…

Mom; does the tropical one smell good? It sounds yummy.

   Of course, it is a bad plan to refuse mother, so I had to smell the candle.

Mom; so?

  Me; dead

 I had laid down on the floor, arms at weird angles, and stuck my tongue out like a dead dog.


Me; old ladies!!!!

Mom; really? Ok so not that one. Maybe we should give that one to grandma…

   By this point, I was rolling around on the floor with the old lady candle in my hand with a weird look on my face.

Mom; ya. Christmas present for grandma.

Candle dead fit over;

Me; Katherine!!!!!

…footsteps down the stairs…

Katherine; what do you want? And why are you on the floor?

Me; don’t talk to me that way. I’m older than you.

Katherine; whatever. Why did you call me?


  She looks at me like I’ve lost my mind, picks up the candle, and looks at my giant crazed smile again.

Katherine; im not sure if I want to smell this…


   She pulls the top off, looks at me yet again, and smells the candle.

Katherine; that’s gross.


   I start laughing hysterically and rolling again.

Katherine; you are so weird.

   She walks away and doesn’t talk to me again for another hour.

Me; Tami!!!!!!!


Mr german angry pants

Mr. german angry pants

Ok, so Im sitting here, listening to music, (“rammstein” of course.) and the girls come down to listen too.

Katherine; what is this? It sounds like an angry Russian guy.

Tami; Is it even English?

Me; no. its german. The artist is rammstein.

   I was attempting to further expand their taste in music so that I wouldn’t have to listen to Coldplay all day. It didn’t go so well…

Katherine; you have weird taste in music.

Tami; Mr german guy sounds angry.

Katherine; is all german music this angry?

Me; no its not! Its not my fault you don’t know the words and cant nderstand.

Katherine; whatever ms. Angry.

Tami; Its mr german angry pants!!!!!

Me; you two are so ridiculous.